You smell like stripper and shame
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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