Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize