I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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