wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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