i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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