She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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