Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this will be a night to untag.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
