If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
