And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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