you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
