I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
