Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
