i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize