We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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