so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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