3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
