Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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