She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize