I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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