Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
