Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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