i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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