just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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