bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I enjoy the company of your penis
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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