everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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