I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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