Her vagina should come with caution tape.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
