i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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