I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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