1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
