dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
