Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
