i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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