After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
