Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize