i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
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They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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