ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
