So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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