hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
