Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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