the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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