my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
