Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
