and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
