Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
