I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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