I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
