Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
