Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
