So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
