Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I could fuck to npr.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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