I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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