I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
