alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
