I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
God, I missed his penis.
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