did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
