never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
