If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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