Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
