they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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