I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it hurts more in the daytime
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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